Red & Yellow, Let it Mellow!

Curling. One word to rule them all. Well, its more a sport than a word, but it has enough gravitas to lift a nation to its feet. Yellow and red rocks flying across a polished rink at 30 clicks an hour. People yelling their lungs out, telling their rocks to "hurry hard!" and "come on!" Sexual innuendo and double entendres aside, one can't argue about the "enthusiasm" the sport draws from its participants. And don't get me started on those brooms. I think Swiffer and the cleaning guys should publicly endorse curling. You know, form a deadly alliance (against germs).

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where Milhouse and Bart were fighting over the same girl. She just happened to be the daughter of mega-action star McBain, who happened to be shooting a movie in Canada. The two best-friends duked it out to decide who was worthy of the sultry lass, only to end up on a curling rink while a game was in session! It was funny, but the stereotypes hit hard and fast. From the cheesy "Canuck" lingo to the assertion that only 2 people were watching the event at home... I'm sure it pissed off a few die-hard curling fans: but in retrospect it was all done tongue-in-cheek.

Well, die-hards can chagrin again, because the Simpsons will be launching another episode about the 500 year old sport in February to usher in the Vancouver games.

Animated guffaws aside, curling is a very serious and tactical sport. Finite precision and keen reflexes, not to mention a solid strategy, are imperative to coming out on top. Many expect David Murdoch to emerge victorious against arch rival Kevin Martin of Ontario. Murdoch had defeated Martin 4 consecutive times, and analysts are expecting more of the same this time around. Perhaps home ice advantage will provide just the "polish" required to pull off a "miracle on ice." (Ok, I'll stop.)

On the women's side, Bingyu Wang and her Chinese crew are the reigning champs, albeit they'll face stiff competition from their Canadian and British compatriots.

Alright, so I'm not the biggest fan of curling, but I will be the first to acknowledge that it is a real sport, with passion, a fervent fan base, and several respectable ambassadors. Let the rocks hurry, and hurry hard! Ok, that's the last crack (...)